Jumping machines with toungues
They’re out there when you’re sleeping
They’re there when you’re awake
Happily donating their hearts and stuff
-for biology students to take.

Sucking up flies near the stench of meat
Losing their legs for the French to eat.
Hopping and croaking and blinking with skill
Thumbs, but no ears- but they can hear, still.

Do frogs have thumbs? I think so, yes.
Imagine a world without frogs, in your head.
Whenever I do it, I’d rather be dead.

I looked at how they did stuff,
It really blew my mind.
What could they be thinking?
Are they really all that blind?

Not nice to call them stupid,
or any nasty name:
A “Case of the Stoops” is what we say,
when morons come our way.
Or even if we spot them
from very far away.

A “heavy case” is used to mean
a stupid level, high.
These folks are very special,
not like your or I.
They go by “Politician,”
or “Bureaucrat” for sure;
They got the stoops a-plenty,
this often does occur.

So next time you do something stupid,
remember it’s not your doing;
A case of the stoops is all you had,
you caught it “while canoeing.”

If they saw the store “Fresh & Easy,” they might do this:

And if they drove past a Smart & Final, they’d probably do something like this:

All my doors are vindows
of opportunitee;
Venever I go through one,
I trow avay da key.
All my doors are vindows
I look through them all day;
And then at night I close the blinds
so nobody vill see
The stuff I do behind ‘em
Like sometimes vhen I pee.

“There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore looking like an idiot.”

- Steven Wright